It’s not you

Let’s face it if he’s cheating then, ‘he’s just not that into you!’. Stop it sis, ‘He’s just not that into you’, I had a marriage counselor tell me that and I could’ve legit slapped the mess outta her 😂😂😂. Yeah some men and even women will say that’s this is not true and that he still loves me but nope! I don’t care what nobody says if he is cheating he’s👏🏾not👏🏾in👏🏾to you👏🏾. I mean who we trying to convince? Only yourself that’s who.

God created woman to be a helpmate to Adam HE never created Eve to be duplicated nor does the word say multi fold cord its says 3 and the 3rd person is God so why you trying to convince yourself that Keisha, Tameka and Janelle is okay too? Idk maybe you don’t consider you self worthy enough for only 1 man to love you or maybe your mental and physical health is not a priority. There was a point that I didn’t feel worthy and also tolerated mediocrity but thank God for deliverance! Now I’m not talking about couples who have been able to heal from infidelity and continue with a successfully loving marriage. I’m talking about the relationships that can’t heal from the soul ties that sexual and emotional relationships outside your marriage destroy.

Now at some point you may have asked yourself why? What did I do wrong what could I have changed? You started making a list of things like:

-Is she prettier than me?

-What she got I don’t?

-What’s her pedigree?

-The side chick or that b&tch stole my man!

-Can’t she go find her own man?

-Doesn’t she know how much time and work I put in?

These are just some of the things I was thinking when infidelity crept into my marriage, I know I’m not the only one. Truth is, your spouse’ infidelity has nothing to do with you at all and everything with him. He made the choice to allow his flesh to be weak and submit to his flesh. He decided to risk it all and break the vows that you made before God (or Mike down at city hall 😂) not you so, stop blaming yourself. Maybe he had ADHD and couldn’t get back on task, maybe he bumped his head or thought the grass was greener- you know what they say about greener grass 😏. It’s isn’t, he’s just not that into you! I mean how could she say that without knowing my situation? After giving it some thought she didn’t need to know the situation. The decision to go outside your marriage is always a self-serving choice and usually never related to the love you have for your spouse. It tends to come from a new desire or void that they think needs to be filled outside. What they really should be doing is looking for you to fill it not the side piece. So, stop being mad at the side-chick/piece because she probably doesn’t even know about you and she didn’t cheat on you your man did. So, don’t let the reasons he gives you as to why he cheated allow the insecurities to creep into your mind. Yes, it’s a hard pill to swallow so we’d rather be mad at the other woman or women (insert which whichever applies to you). A man who truly loves you can’t be stolen-period! Truth is he never loved you enough! Enough to remember to forsake all others, put God first or value you enough to not break your heart. Whether it was out of selfishness, ego, and self serving and if he can’t keep his flesh in check then he’s not for you anyway, right?! So, why do we try to convince yourself otherwise?

Truth is none of that matters. As much as you want it to matter it doesn’t because the only person you should be mad at is him- your MAN/ HUSBAE. He’s the one who choose her over you. Love is an action word so stop chasing he who does not want to be caught. Go to 1Corinthians 13 and see what the Lord says about love in case you need clarification. If we are all fearfully and wonderfully made unique by God then there just can’t be anything better about her than you! #undebatable

Truth is:

-No she’s not prettier than you.

-she doesn’t have anything you don’t, so don’t compare

-pedigrees are for 🐶 and you’re not a dog

-The side chick didn’t steal your man, he wanted to be taken so let him go

-Sure, she can keep a man but she probably just wants yours but that’s a topic for another time

-don’t look at it as wasted time but a learning experience so now you know what you do and don’t like and how to use that for the future. There is Purpose to your Pain!

So, no matter how pretty, her degree or her pedigree! Do yourself a favor and edify yourself in the word because He who loves you best is waiting on you to love Him first…and while you wait he’ll fix you up so that you won’t have to chase the next man but he’ll find you. While you wait PRAY! Pray for a man chasing God!

Note to self: you’re a Daughter of The King and who doesn’t want to be with royalty? Hold you head up ladies I wouldn’t want your 👑 to slip!

From the girl who’s been there, done that and moving on!

From ya girl divorced and married- to Jesus that is- XOXO

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